As the emotions settle from the tragedy at Sandy Grove Elementary people will begin to ask questions. Who could do such a thing? What did elementary school children do to provoke them? Why would they do it? How could we have prevented or even stop it? Along with the questions will come anger. Someone will need to be responsible. For many the answer to all those questions will come in the form of who is to blame.
Is it the 2nd Amendment and all the gun owners walking around?
Is it the school who has an inferior security system that allows someone to walk in like that?
Is it mental illness?
Is it God?
Finding someone or something to blame seems natural to me. It helps me cope. It helps me make sense and answer the questions that swim around in my head. I’m never okay with something like this, but I can put my mind to rest if I can find answers. There’s a backstory that leads up to the event that explains it all. It’s not like choosing a pair of socks where you just wake up and decide “I think I’ll go shoot up a school or mall or cinema or temple today”.
But outside of putting a face with the answers you create in your head, what does blame actually accomplish? Will it bring back those children? Will it help a grieving mother find peace?
The more I think about it the more I realize blaming someone does nothing for me. It doesn’t help me get over the confusion, grief, and anger of the situation. Rather it simply gives me someone or something to focus all of that energy on. I can no longer move on peacefully in forgiveness and grace. As much as I want to convince myself I’m a good Christian and have forgiven that person, as long as I blame them and associate them with the event I haven’t fully forgiven them. And I don’t want to forgive anyone else I think I can blame and place responsibility on.
So is it healthier not to blame someone. To accept the events, cope with those I love, and appreciate the life we shared and/or will share going forward? Because blaming someone hasn’t done any of that as far as I can tell.