1. The wedding gifts you got weren’t made to last this long.
2. The marriage counseling you got is really only good for the first 6 months. You’re on your own for the rest.
3. Even if she loves sports and is competitive, using your Shaq post up move on her is a bad idea.
4. She wouldn’t let Bradley Cooper wander around the house in his underwear all day.
5. If you want her to look like a Victoria’s Secret model, you better look like the guy one of those women would marry. Do some sit-ups.
6. Hollywood romantic movies should be listed as science fiction. If you try to replicate any of those scenes you’ll go broke, get seriously injured, or most likely both.
7. You really do care what color the living room is.
8. Through “Rich or poor, sickness and health, till death…” left out a few details that would have been helpful.
9. Today is better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better yet because you’re still together.