10 Things You’d Rather Do Than Go to Church

1.  Sleep in my bed instead of sitting up in this hard pew

2.  Stand in line for the doorbuster sale at Macy’s

3.  Hit the gym before all the meatheads get there

4.  Go grocery shopping before the crowds get there after church

5.  Sit at Starbucks reading your nook while sipping a Venti, sugar-free, non-fat, vanilla soy, double shot, decaf, no foam, extra hot, Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha with light whip and extra syrup; and Sprinkles

6.  Sleep

7.  Attend a creative writing seminar about how to write witty blog posts

8.  Spend the weekend at a spiritual retreat

9.  Get a jump on the yard work for the weekend

10.  Go to the zoo, museum, state park, botanical gardens, library, city park, hammock in the back yard… really anyplace there’s not a sermon and offering plate

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