If Christians Were Named Like Smurfs

So as I was watching the new “Smurfs” movie recently with my family a thought came to me.   What if we identified Christians by how they exhibit their Christianity?  It would be similar to how Smurfs are named after their personality traits.   There are a lot of different kinds of Christian’s out there. They all have different personalities and functions; some better than others.  So here’s a list of the Smurf equivalent of Christian personalities.   Feel free to add yours to it.

Happy Smurf – Nothing seems to bother Happy Smurf. Even when things go wrong he’s irritatingly optimistic, because “there’s a plan for this”.   He’s the first one to give you a hug and pray for you when you need it.   But sometimes you just want to smack the smurf out of him.

Angry Smurf – Everything bothers Angry Smurf. No one know’s what the smurf they’re doing and it smurfs him off. He writes letters to Papa Smurf telling him how bad his stories are and how they’re not fundamentally smurfed.  He’s not afraid to tell you you’re wrong or stand along the roadside protesting how the other smurfs are behaving so unsmurflike.

Megaphone/Sidewalk Smurf – Megaphone/Sidewalk Smurf looks for every opportunity to share his smurfiness, but not the same way as Happy Smurf.  He wants to save you from your unsmurfy ways by talking at you.  He’s not interested in a conversation, just conversion.

Clueless Smurf – Clueless Smurf does everything that the other smurfs do, but doesn’t really know why being a smurf is special. He doesnt read any Smurf books or listen to Papa Smurfs stories. He gets caught off guard easily because he doesn’t know what the smurf is going on.

Contemporary Smurf – With his guitar and WWSD t-shirt proclaiming his smurfiness, Contemporary Smurf will show you how cool it is to be a Smurf.  Being a smurf is all about what’s in your heart, not what you do.

Traditional Smurf – Traditional Smurf believes that appropriate, smurf-fearing smurfs should wear pants AND shirts. The smurf song should be sung in perfect four part harmony.  To them other smurfs have lost sight of what makes you a smurf for “feel-good smurfiness”.

Brainy Smurf – There’s is no question about smurfs that brainy smurf can’t answer. He’s researched, studied, and proved the greatness of smurfs. He’s useful to have around so long as you don’t want him to actually have a personality.

Spiritual Smurf – Spiritual Smurf spends his time meditating to connect with his inner smurfiness. He seems pretty connected with what it means to be a smurf but is otherwise pretty useless. He’d rather notice how smurfy the trees are.

Activist Smurf – Smurf Trafficking, Smurficide, and feeding homeless smurfs gives Activist Smurf meaning and purpose.  He raises money and awareness without the need for approval from other smurfs, but often becomes frustrated and critical of their lack of empathy for the same causes.

Political Smurf – Legislation is the only way Political Smurf sees to protect the sanctity of smurfdom.  Without laws protecting smurfs from unsmurfiness,  smurf society as we know it will deteriorate.

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