10 Things You Never Hear in Church

1. “Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew!”

2. “I was so enthralled, I never even noticed your sermon went 25 minutes overtime.”

3. “Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.”

4. “I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I’ve been sending to TV Evangelists.”

5. “I’ll volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.”

6. “Forget the denominational minimum salary. Let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do!”

7. “I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before.”

8. “Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early!”

9. “Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.”

10. “Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment to the Lord like our annual stewardship campaign.”

From  Mickey’s Funnies

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2 thoughts on “10 Things You Never Hear in Church

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