The iPhone Killed My Marriage

As I write this from my iPad, my wife sits across the room with her iPhone. She’s playing a new game she’s downloaded on iTunes. We haven’t spoken to each other in hours. Come to think of it, we haven’t had a lengthy conversation in days. The children, whom I vaguely remember, are in bed. They too have their own tablets to play games, read books, and color on. They got them for christmas. At first the quiet was nice. I remember like a dream, smiling at my wife and talking at the kitchen table, while the boys played in the other room. Oh the days of playing Candyland as a family.  They seem like a fairy tale now.

We used to go to bed at the same time. Falling asleep side by side, tucked in and listening to the wind outside as winter set in. She looks different to me now through the bluish glow of the iPhone screen.  Even out “Family Night Out” is marred by the iPhone.  Does the 3G work in the bowling alley?  Will the restaurant have wifi?  Even the conversations that are started quickly result in “I don’t know, let me look it up” and we dissolve into our phones.

My consolation is I’m not alone.  As I look around, families everywhere go through the motions of life in the haze of the iPhone.  They converse through their Facebook app, let each other know what their doing via the Foursquare app, and enjoy the each others company while sitting on the couch together texting their friends.  We might as well be part of the Matrix.

If you don’t have an iPhone, well, you might be better off.

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